Harry Potter Parings
by Clara McLelland
Summary: I wrote this on the back of a truck on my trip up to Leads... -_- but as depressing as that may sound, this is my humerous take on all the pair-ups me and my friend FLYz could think of. PG-13 for language and some sex related humor.


Harry Potter Parings

By Clara McLelland {turkish_turtle_sabri@yahoo.com.hk} 
    
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Author's Note :: HARRY POTTER!!!! Bwahahahahahaha... Fred n' George! Wood! Malfoy! Harry! And Ron n' Hermione make such a cute couple too... If J.K. Rowling had a sense of humor, I'd say that Harry and Draco would getting' it on... : : : :  
: : *mucho evil smirkies*

Being a perverted yaoi fangirl is very fun at times. Favorite couples, or rather all the couplings I could think of and my comments on them are what follow on this page. I must give a warning (and I'd love to say, "Damn the warnings!" but unfortunetly I cannot... [such a sad thing, too]) and so, here it is: WARNING! WARNING! The following fan fiction contains hints at homosexual relationships, heterosexual relationships, incest, pedofillia, etc. in manners which children under about 6 haven't heard of, and children under about 13 shouldn't read about. This is stuck somwhere in the middle of a PG-13 and a R, for sexual theams and language, and so, for more readership (sneaky li'l me...) I'm gonna make this little ficcy... PG-13!!!

(FLYz: Oh, how Clara wants to make this NC-17...

Clara M.: Rot in bloody hell, FLYz.)

Er, Harry Potter and all that don't bloody well belong to me, although I fancy I would love to have made 97 mill of a movie full of hot, male Britts, it belongs to J.K. Rowling and Scholastic. I en't making money off this, so don't sue. You'll win my German pop collection and my shrine to Eddie Fife and the Turks. Yarg. -_-;

...

Damn, I need money.

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[Harry x Duddly]- Whosoever suggested this has some major issues...  
  
(glares at FLYz)  
  
Harry hates Duddly, and well, besides that, the whole thing is just... well... no.

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[Harry x Ron]- This may surprise some people, but I really don't think it would work. Harry sort of takes care of Ron in a brotherly way, so...  
  
(FLYz: You just watch her, she's going to be a hypocrite later on and she knows it. *malicious grin*)  
  
It just doesn't seem like a type of relationship that would develop. Harry doesn't seem like a very touchy-feeling kinda guy, and Ron seems like someone who would want comforting, which is one of the reasons why neither of them would work with each other. I think Harry would go for another non-touchy-feely person myself-  
  
(FLYz: Read Draco Malfoy.

Clara M.: Oh, shove it, you...)  
  
  
-where as Ron will end up w/someone who will be more like a mother to him, give him more attention. Plus, since I'm the damn author, I just don't see it working.

* * *

[Harry x Hagrid]-  
  
Clara M.: Don't even go there.

FLYz: I know you love me.

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[Harry x Dumbledore]- See above.

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[Harry x McGonagall]-  
  
Clara M.: I don't belive you.  
  
FLYz: *whisling innocently*

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[Harry x Hermione]- This could work, but I'm more fermly convinced that she'd just put Harry off entirely. They'd look quite nice together, though. Maybe, if Ginny or Draco weren't around, yeah. Maybe even over Draco-  
  
(FLYz: Holy Mary, mother of God! She just said that somebody would work better with Harry other than Draco!)

-if my mind wasn't so pevertedly decided upon homosexual relatioships. But there are other factors, including the fact that I belive Ron might be more destended for Hermione, but I could work. I guess.

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[Harry x Ginny]- Adoreable. And she looks up to him. He went into the Chamber of Secrets to save her-  
  
(FLYz: Which he would've done for anybody. Besides, he was after the Obilisk.  
  
Clara M.: I am really starting to get tiered of you... If I even hear one more word, I'll tell them your true name, FLYz...  
  
FLYz: NOOOOO!!! THE HORROR!!!!  
  
Clara M.: So shut the bloody fuck up, then, eh?  
  
FLYz: ...  
  
Clara M.: Ah, peace 'n quiet.)  
  
-and besides, she has a major crush on Harry, and all Harry ever does to try and stop her from showing her affections for him (or for that matter, deter her) is: ... *blush*

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[Harry x Draco]- I think one fic author phrased it best by saying (or rather by having Ron say) that Harry can't deny that he wants, "to have his way with [Draco] on the Potions floor." But seriously, the whole love/hate relationship thing would work so well it's not even funny. I mean, I should know. I just got out of one of those relatioships. That bastard... *evil smirks* But that's beside the point. It would work. And the would look gorgeous together.  
  
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[Harry x Fred and/or George]- First, I'd like to start by saying that I am aware of the fact that Fred and George Weasly are two different characters and that I realize that they have individual character traits worthey of their own attention and that I should not just blatantly lump the two together because they're twins and both troublemakers.

I'd like to follow that by saying that's not the reason I put them together. It suits my purposes. I mean either of them could work in this situation, so I use both of them. I'm sorry if you have a problem with that.

I could see one or both of them being Harry's first... um... how to put this delecately...  
  
(FLYz: His first fuck. Good fuck. *grin*)  
  
... my other half just threw all tact out the window. But yes, she has hit the nail on the head, so to speak. However, I can't see them in a long lasting relationship. The twins are just too crazy. And crazy only works with crazy or very disiplined, and Harry's certainly not disiplined, and not really crazy. I don't think he'd hold enough interest for either of the twins to stick around for long.  
  
Plus, the twins really work so much better with themselves. *burst out in mad laughter*

(FLYz: I can't belive she just said that. Twincest. *shudders* Too bad it actually works.)

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